So You Want To Be A Hypnodomme?

I’m Tessa Fields and I’ve been creating femdom hypnosis experiences since 2008. Along the way, I have had my up and downs, incredible successes and outstanding failures, moments of genius and embarrassing nightmares that I still have nightmares about, but through all of this I’ve learned some valuable things about being a professional in this industry that I’d like to share. For my peers, I hope some of this will resonate with you and possibly help you navigate these rough waters. For the listener, maybe you’ll get some insight into just how hard staying in this business really is.

When I emerged onto the femdom hypnosis scene, things were very different than they are now. There were very few ladies producing hypnotic content and we were stars, every last one of us. The community was small and hypnotic ladies were bona fide celebrities of a very small micro-niche. Despite this kind of entertainment being around before the MP3 even existed, dilution of the market did not seem to really start to take hold until about 2011.

I was a part-time web designer for the adult industry long before erotic hypnosis became the hot new fetish to capitalize upon. Clients that I had designed “sweet, slutty, submissive” websites for were now adding hypnosis to their resume. Every phone sex operator had suddenly become a “certified” hypnotist with years of experience. You’d think I’d be offended, irate even, after spending over $10,000 on learning my craft. I wasn’t. I know the adult industry and this is just the way it goes. I’ve watched the fads move from Girl Next Door Goes Bad to MILF on the Hunt to Financial Domination and of course now we are at Erotic Hypnosis. There will be new trends and the masses will follow.

There is something about being a hypnodomme that I’m quite confident that many ladies have discovered…this is one of the hardest jobs in the adult industry. Hypnosis creates an intimacy that can create a dependency among your listeners. There is a need for a greater connection for the hypnofetishist. You are in someone’s mind, guiding and suggesting, and they need to know you and more importantly, trust you.

Erotic hypnosis falls in the cracks with regards to its classification. We’re too naughty for the mainstream and too tame for porn. This is where it can all start to get overwhelming. Who do you align yourself with? Where do you advertise? Where do you fit in to succeed? I’m not going to provide you with a how-to on how to create sessions and where to advertise. Your mileage will vary and everyone can find ways to sell. I’m going to try and provide some insight as to how to survive. I’ve made many mistakes and have learned some hard lessons. My hope is to save you some headaches and heartaches.

New Girl Syndrome

We’ve all been there. You released your first few sessions and they are selling like hotcakes. Your inbox is full of emails from men that want to serve you, spoil you, and worship you. You’ve probably heard that your session was the first time someone was truly able to go into trance. You’re the most powerful hypnotist in the world. It must be time to give up the day job and go full time domme, right? I’m sorry to say that you’d be wrong. Any veteran in this niche will tell you that they have seen it over and over again. That endless stream of praise that fills the feeds of twitter and Inraptured will die down and you will be replaced. I know it sounds harsh, but it is the bitter reality. You’ve got a hard road ahead of you to maintain your relevance. This isn’t time for despair; it is time to get to work.

Never Stop Mastering Your Craft

Learning the art of hypnosis should not stop at the end of a class or a book. Since Braid coined the term “hypnosis” back in 1843, we still struggle to define it. There are many theories as to the science and practice and let’s face it, there is no mutually agreed upon definition or application. Your subjects look to you to be an authority and if you fall short, so does your reputation. Learning how to hypnotize someone is only the beginning. Taking the time to learn about the companions of hypnosis, such as NLP, will make you better. Dive into books about the mind. Read CIA brainwashing manuals, persuasion techniques, advertising, binaural beat creation. Soak up everything like a sponge. Many hypnofetishists know more about hypnosis than many hypnotists due to their curiosity and love of the art. You need to be prepared to engage in conversation about your craft and even more prepared to apply it.

Stay in Control of Your Business

It can be tempting to take a hypno-slave up on their offer to design your website, write your scripts, and engineer your audio. I’m not even saying you shouldn’t. I would like to point out the pitfalls though.

I’m a one-man band. I write, record, edit, design, and promote. Truth be told, it is exhausting. There are days that I wish I could just write and record and reap the benefits. Then there are the days where I remember why I like it this way. When I decide I hate the look of my website, I re-design it. When something breaks, I fix it. My background in web development has turned out to be my biggest blessing.

It would certainly be taxing to take time out to master Photoshop and learn how to code a website. I get that. I do implore you, however, not to be at the mercy of someone else’s expertise. Over the years, I’ve helped people regain control of their website after a “webslave” has locked them out of it in a fit of rage. I’ve had to teach people how to use their own software after an allegedly “devoted slave” has moved on to the next lady.

It is OK to accept help, but attaining a level of proficiency in maintaining your business is essential. Let that webslave design your website, then change the password. Allow someone to do the post-production on your MP3 and then learn how to trim the sample yourself. Self-sufficiency will pay untold dividends in this business.

Embracing Your Competition

So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. -Tina Fey

Gather a group of dominant women in one place and competitive cattiness is sure to ensue. I encourage you to rise above this sort of behavior and to simply ignore those that don’t. There is no Billboard chart for hypnosis sessions. You have no idea who is really making money and who is just putting on a show. This is the age of the internet. You are surrounded by smoke and mirrors. Don’t let the illusions or reality of someone’s success bait you into jealousy or cattiness.

You can’t possibly dominate the market. Even if you could, there are not enough hours in a day to maintain all the relationships and communication that would entail. Align yourself with your fellow hypnodommes rather than compete with them. Their success has nothing to do with your own. Unless you are so self-involved to the exclusion of all others, there is no good reason not to be nice to your peers. Someday, you might need advice. You might need a favor, a collaboration, or an idea. You might just need a friendly ear from someone that can understand what you’re going through. Living in a bubble of your own awesomeness is lonely, really lonely. To put it simply, be nice, check your ego, recommend your peers to others, and make some allies. Your objective should be to keep people loving this fetish and spreading the word. The more people that discover erotic hypnosis, the more possibilities for all of us.

You are your only competition. Set goals and work towards them. That is the only tangible measure of your success.

Don’t Poach

People talk. Fans will rat you out in an instant. Even with hoards of ladies entering the scene, the community is still small. If you attempt to acquire customers through shady means, your reputation will suffer when your lack of character is exposed. Don’t think for a minute that things you say in private will stay that way.

Being a Real Person is NOT a Sign of Weakness

Your fans want to know you. This is part of the intimacy of the fetish. Your fans are also not stupid. They know that nobody lives a life free of stress and misfortune. There is nothing wrong with being humble and having moments of humility. This does not diminish your dominance in any way. Be wary of getting so caught up in being a character that you become a one dimensional bore. Let the authentic you shine through. I guarantee that is far more interesting to your admirers than a polished hypnobot.

Live Your Brand

You cannot be all things to everyone. Create experiences that you relate to. Why make 2 substandard sessions in every fetish when you can make 50 outstanding ones in fetishes that you excel at and have a personal interest in? The best sessions come from a place of authenticity. Respect the intelligence of your listeners. Most can sense when you aren’t in your element.

Avoid Emotionally Investing In Those That Have Not Earned It

There are people from all walks of life in this fetish and all have different motives. While I find that most fans are generally good folks that are having fun, there are the trance sluts that claim devotion to the lady of the moment. I’ve seen people claim complete loyalty to one domme and I still see their screen names in my sales records with every new release. Have a realistic understanding that this is mere fantasy to many. If you intertwine your self worth with anonymous people on the internet, you are bound to be disappointed. Appreciate and acknowledge the devotion of your admirers, but try not to depend on it.

I’ve made many friends from my time in the hypnofetish and even met my fella through it, so I’m not saying to put up a wall. I’m saying that words are just words on the internet. Allow your relationships to build trust before you depend on anyone.

The Difference Between Advertising and Annoying Everyone Around You

There are two types of advertising in this fetish, selling a product and selling your personality. It seems only natural that after creating a new session to want to scream it from the mountain tops. You hop on every site you can and announce your latest creation. You might implore your most faithful listeners to listen immediately and give it a glowing review. That should sell it, right? Nope. You have to give people a reason to care about your latest release. Sure, you’ll sell some and your most devoted will grab it the moment it hits the shelves, but what about the people that haven’t given your work a shot yet? Have you appealed to them in other ways? Do they know anything about you through your community interactions? Trust is vastly important to the hypnofetishist. How can one trust you if they never get to know you? Avoid being overly commercial in your interactions. Share a little bit about yourself. Interact. Don’t let the only times you pop onto twitter or a community site be to promote a product. This is white noise to a customer and they see right through it.

Give a Little to Get More

The single best thing you can do to improve your business is to give a little time. Create a free session that represents your style. You don’t have to give away the farm with a free hands-free orgasm file. Give a little taste and let your listeners decide if you are right for them. Answer questions about hypnosis when asked. Give recommendations to try other hypnotists if you know you aren’t the right fit for a listener. It’s better to know when you are not in your wheelhouse than to fake it and disappoint.

The Importance of Disclosure

Many years ago, I was chatting with a friend and fellow hypnofetishist about a file he recently bought. The description didn’t really describe what the file was about other than it was “the most powerful” of her sessions. He had bought some of her past sessions and took a leap of faith. It contained a suggestion of infantilism at the end and he was pissed. Boom, that lady just lost a customer. Why? He simply couldn’t trust her anymore.

Take the time to write a proper description of your sessions. It is better to potentially provide a spoiler than lose a customer and more importantly, their trust.

Don’t De-Value Yourself

If you choose to make a living making hypnotic content, then you have a right to make money. You are your own business. Try to avoid pressure to give away your time or hard work to prove to someone that you are the right fit. If you offer proper samples and a free session that is representative of your art, then stand your ground. We see trailers for movies that peak our interest and then pay at the box office to see it. You wouldn’t ask the theater to let you see it for free with the promise of coming back to see other movies or just to make sure you like it. If you have learned your craft and created great sessions, then you should have the confidence not to bend to these tactics. You are worth the price of admission.

Never Let Them Get You Down

As they say, you can’t please everyone all of the time. Eventually, you will get a bad review. Someone will tell you that you suck. Some asshat that has never even tried a session of yours will take the time out of his day to ruin yours. This business takes thick skin to survive. If you are a dainty sensitive type, find a way to get past that and don’t be afraid to tell people to fuck off when warranted.

Manage Your Time

Avoid burnout. Try not to be a slave to your inbox. Set work hours and abide by them. Learn to step away just as you would if you worked a 9 to 5 job. Don’t over-commit. You are only one person and the people that are worth your time and attention will understand the need for a break.

Be Fearless

Everyone has a session designed to make the listener helplessly mindless and obedient. There are days when it seems that everything that can be done has been done. Short of creating a hypnotic session about riding a purple elephant while being chased by horny faeries in Narnia, what’s a gal to do? Be original. Be innovative. Be authentic. Have fun. Dare to try. Scared kittens fade into oblivion in this business.

 

If you’ve read this far, I assume you might think I’m a little jaded. The truth is that I see women burn out all the time. I also see women working harder, rather than smarter. I’ve been both burned out and worked too hard on several occasions. This is written as result of the lessons I’ve learned over the years. I love hypnosis and cannot imagine doing anything else. This is the hardest endeavor I’ve ever taken on, but by far, the most rewarding.

About Tessa Fields
Tessa Fields has been creating Femdom Erotic Hypnosis since 2008 at Hypnotessa.com. She is a co-founder of EroticHypnotists.com and an administrator at Inraptured.net

10 Comments on So You Want To Be A Hypnodomme?

  1. This is the most insightful peek behind the curtain I have ever read! This should be required reading for all dommes that want to get into the business. Thank you so much for sharing such personal information!

  2. Simply an excellent article. Thank you for writing it.

  3. Tessa- I couldn’t agree more with most everything you have said. Yes I did live hypnosis for years, but when I began creating files more recently I was the new girl for a minute. There was much I needed and did learn. You personally were really helpful a bit into the process, I appreciated the advice. I do think being kind to those others in your profession rather then competing all the time makes it much nicer for all of us. There are guys to go around… not everyone is able or willing to be part of a community, and I honestly am glad that I have an ability to interact, but a new wannabe hypnodom may want to consider its a ton of work, and it better be because you truly enjoy it and not for what you imagine your financial gain will be. It is my real job at this point, but I work hard at it, and no I don’t have a gaggle of subs doing things for me. I found a way to be independent with my work, and if you don’t have a big list of skills going into this, it might just be so much work for you to acquire those skills that you could be better suited for it NOT being your full time work… DONT quit your day job unless you know you can back yourself up.

    thanks personally for your support getting started Tessa, and your continued encouragement to all of us with this very article, you rock! 🙂

  4. Loved reading this article. Tessa. Your advice to know all aspects of your business is very sound advice. It’s hard work to gain that knowledge- but it certainly pays off when a subject/slave with the skills you relied on- is not available.
    I am looking forward to reading more great reticules on your web site. Congratulations and look after yourself in the days ahead.

  5. This is an AMAZING article! Very very true! I am honored to know such wonderful women like yourself in this industry.

  6. I can’t imagine a better description or glimpse behind the scenes than what you have described in this article! Excellent job, and a big Congratulations to you on the website!

  7. Church!

    Great tips, a must read for all young hopefuls!

  8. Mistress Carol // June 13, 2014 at 4:36 am // Reply

    Word! (Do they still say that?)

    Brilliant and straight. Thank you Tessa for such an insightful article. It ain’t all fun and games.

  9. Thank you, Tessa (and Carol for pointing me here) for reminding us all of the hard work that goes into this job, and to check egos and make friends 😉 those things are more important in the long run.

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